Anxiety has only just been a recent thing for me, 3 years ago I had never even experienced it, and honestly I didn’t think it could be that bad but sadly it can. It becomes a part of your life so quickly and before you even know it, suddenly it’s upon you and there’s no way to stop it.
Many people experience it in many different ways and having it appear in their lives for so many different reasons. Some people may not be able to sleep, eat, or attend social situations, plus so many more effects that I couldn’t possibly list.
For me it’s a number things, I feel sick, faint, hot, I can’t eat or sleep and don’t even want too face the issue. I don’t feel myself and can’t get out, I feel so trapped.
Having an anxiety attack is something I never thought I would’ve ever experienced and I really wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. My first one was on a train journey to London, and I really don’t even know why it happened, it just came into my head and I really felt like I couldn’t breathe and that the air was hot and fuzzy. I’ve really never felt so stuck and trapped in my life.
I struggled then and I still struggle to this day with anxiety and panic attacks. Whether it’s about something so little as walking into a room full of people, or eating in a group, or sitting in the audience of a show. I sometimes got over whelmed and froze for the fear of creating a panic attack or being sick, and that made it much worse because it started limiting the things I could do. I forced myself to do the things that would make me anxious even if it meant I would be in fact sick or have a panic or anxiety attack. I had to get past it, and only then in my mind I would realise that everything was going to be ok.
I can’t tell you what exactly works or make you feel completely better, but I can tell you what worked for me and you can modify it to suit you or just try it.
I always try to concentrate on something else that I really need to focus on, for example, I’ll try to some times tables In my head, or try to think about the periodic table and its order. Because I know that will completely distract me, all I’ll be thinking about is counting those numbers or remembering the table correctly.
Nobody can fully understand anxiety, it’s different for everyone and I hope one day that there will be a cure for it. Everyday you push through it, making it easier for the next day and so on. Many people confuse anxiety with worry and I can safely say that it is not the same thing, as anxiety travels deep inside you and hits you like a bullet.
Those of you that don’t have anxiety and have never experienced it I really hope that you never, ever, do. However if you know someone that suffers with it, please know that if they’re cancelling social situations, or behave awkwardly or just seem difficult, just know that they really can’t help it and they aren’t trying to make things hard. Just give them the time and help them in a way that they need.
I could talk about this topic forever as it holds such a close place in my heart, having really seen and felt how it can change people’s lives. You may feel alone, but many people are suffering in silence everyday and I completely understand what you are going through.
xxx